March

03/04/10 - NNHS Newsletter -
March Forth on the Fourth

“March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection.
March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path.”

- Kahlil Gibran
(06 Jan 1883 - 10 Apr 1931)

March

7:  15:  23:  29:  

7:  15:  23:  29:  

March 4, 1944 - After the success of Big Week, the USAAF began a daylight bombing campaign of Berlin.

March 4, 1945 - In the United Kingdom, Princess Elizabeth, later to become Queen Elizabeth II, joined the Women's Auxiliary Territorial Service as a driver.

March 4, 1945 - Lapland War: Finland declared war on Nazi Germany.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - Journalist Andrew Collins was born in Northampton, England.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - Actress Stacy Edwards was born in Glasgow, Montana.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - Author and physician Khaled Hosseini was born in Kabul, Afghanistan.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - German rave techno DJ WestBam was born Maximillian Lenz in Münster, Westphalia, Germany.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - Cosmonaut Yuri Lonchakov was born in Balkhash, Kazakhstan.

Thursday, March 4, 1965 - Castaway Jonathan Shearer was born in Glasgow, Scotland.

          my #6 Son, Dale Harty, (Hillsboro HS, IL / American School, IL - '02) and his wife,   Diana Lyons Harty (Portsmouth HS, NH / Eastlake HS, CA - '05), of MA

   She's due on or about July 29, their second child. (She'll be our thirteenth grandchild, sixth granddaughter.)

   And then they put that adorable little      Buckley on the phone (he'll be two on June 14), and he said, "Hi, Grammie!"

   And Grammie melted.
   Congratulations, Chickadees!    

Customer:  'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator:      'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer:     'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator:     'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Samsung Electronics
Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I   
                   need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and   
                   telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the 
                   number for Jack?'
Operator:      'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

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RAC Motoring Services
Caller:         'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am 
                   traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:     'Does the policy name give you a clue?'
 
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' 

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Directory Enquiries
Caller:  'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' 

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller:             'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ...' 

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a 
worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

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Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer:             'OK.'
Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer:             'No.'
Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:             'No.'
Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' 

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Tech Support:      'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can 
                           you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer:            'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

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Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been 
promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department...............
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause..'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'
Operator:         'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator:         'Went away?'
Caller:              'They disappeared'
Operator:         'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:              'Nothing.'
Operator:         'Nothing??'
Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller:              'How do I tell?'
Operator:        'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:              'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:              'What's a monitor?'
Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 
                        Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:               'I don't know...'
Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where 
                        the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??'
Caller:              'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's 
                       plugged into the wall..
Caller:              'Yes, it is.'
Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that 
                        there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller:               'No.'
Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and 
                        find the other cable.'
Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into 
                      the back of your computer..'
Caller:               'I can't reach.'
Operator:          'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:               'No..'
Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller:               'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator:          'Dark?'
Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is 
                        coming in from the window.'
Operator:           'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:               'I can't.'
Operator:          'No? Why not?'
Caller:              'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:           'A power ..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it   
                        licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and   
                        packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller:                'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator:           'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it   
                         up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to 
                         the store you bought it from.'
Caller:                'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:           'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:                'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:           'Tell them you're too darned stupid to own a computer!'

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